Don't Let Go

I’ve actually had this song written and recorded for about 1 ½ years now (Nov 2016). The song I wrote was brought to life with the help of Lane Johnson, Anderson Duncan, and Mike Gardella. I would say the song probably has a different meaning to all of us, but was written with the intent to raise awareness towards PTSD (lyrically specifically Veterans - due to a small group of them making a HUGE impact upon my life) and Suicide (lost some friends to it). Since writing the song, both of these things I’ve encountered and dealt with. With that being said, I’ve learned environment is everything (physically and mentally). When you can’t physically change your surroundings or environment you have to be prepared mentally.

I encountered times when I couldn’t stand where I thought my life was heading or what was currently happening or going on in it...and the thoughts I let creep in and entertain, were terrible. My mind was weak. I was afraid of living and didn’t want to be here anymore. I forgot life isn’t always easy. Things don’t always go your way. You don’t always get what you want. And ultimately, you aren’t in control - you have to learn to let go and let life take its toll sometimes. You’re going to go through low points, and high points, and experience everything in between. That’s what makes us human. I feel like so many of us are afraid of feeling something real. The best way to get over your fears is to sometimes face them head on - not burying those thoughts and issues back inside your mind somewhere. I got to a point where I finally started loving myself again. As much as we aren’t in control, we are in control of our environment to a certain extent. We control who we hang out with, where we work (sometimes), where we put our energy and what we focus our minds on…

Half the time the anxiety we feel and create for ourselves are on ideas that haven’t even happened yet. Realities that don’t even exist. Your mind is extremely powerful - keep it in the right environments and feed it love and what nourishes it, and you’ll experience growth/change/peace - whatever it is that your mind seeks.

A lot that I’m writing has been said or heard before - you just actually have to apply it and make the changes in your own life and realize you have the strength to fight.

For some time now, I’ve ran from the things in life that made me happiest. I’ve caught myself in so much self-doubt that I stopped creating music. I’ve been so caught up on what hasn’t happened in my life and what certain people have done and said to me that drove me from my faith that I stopped pursuing anything at all.

 I couldn’t conquer and get through the things I have without a new mindset and without my personal relationship with God. As I’ve said before, I ran from music and also my faith. I’ve been holding onto things that I could not control, and ultimately had to surrender that control.

 You have to continue to fight. You have to continue to live. Life may not always be easy, but there is so much you can do with it. Remember the sun and flowers you see after the rain has come and gone. What you’re going through at this very moment, will pass. How you feel about where you are, will improve (with the right attitude and mindset). Embrace your fears and find out what’s holding you back. When you find it, kill it! Once you’ve done that, die to yourself, lose your ego, and love the people that surround you. We can’t be afraid of living when there’s so much left to live.

Don’t Let Go.

Lyrics:

Good, brave men die every year

Trained to save, no signs of fear

Living to fight, giving up their lives

For what it seems, our freedom to whine

About our lives, and how we try, not to die inside

To make it through, day to day, living for the pay

Is this it, the American dream? Laid in a grave, rowing gently down the stream?

So please don't go and row, row your boat-

Gently down the stream, not waking up from this dream...

Listen up now, listen to me...

Please don't go

I will show

You

How to go on from here

Please don't go

I will show

You

How we fight on (from here)

We fight on, and on, and on

Livin' on, and on, and on

Fighting and on, and on, and on

Please don't go

I will show

You...

Don't give up now...don't give in

There's no need to fear, no greater sin

We'll walk as one, while , learning how to run,

Reliving memories, of how freedom isn't free

So please don't go and row, row your boat-

Gently down the stream, not waking up from this dream...

Listen up now, listen to me…

Please don't go

I will show

You

How to go on from here

Please don't go

I will show

You

How we fight on (from here)

We fight on, and on, and on

Livin' on, and on, and on

Fighting and on, and on, and on

Please don't go

I will show

You...

Why would you leave me?

Why would you leave me, now?

Your cold and so hopeless.

Why are you holding on,

To something worth folding?

Why would you leave me, now?

Your cold and so worthless.

Why are you holding on,

To something worth folding?

Why would you leave me, now?

Explain Wisdom For Deaf Ears

You can explain the way you feel without going into detail - you can tell the story and tell a resolution without going down every rabbit hole…

Explain wisdom for deaf ears. 

You can explain to people what you’ve learned without telling them how you got there - because everyone’s journey is different - the roads are more narrow or the paths are more wide - everyone was raised a different way - we all deal with different things at different times - no one is exactly the same or will they ever be - everyone’s mind is different - mental health is different for everyone and cannot be treated with just a pill.

Your mindset is EVERYTHING.

When dealing with a fragile state of mind, the person usually wants a quick fix. They want to know how to end the pain they feel or have felt for so long…yet, the last thing they want to hear is only time will heal the pain. In that state of mind - they feel like time is running out, like they have no more of it or honestly, just don’t know what do it with it anymore. Even the concept and idea of time makes them want to get away from it all together.

However, there is time. They say life’s greatest gift is the “present.” You’ve been given one time, one life, one very moment, the present, so make it worth living for. Solve your issues at their roots. Die to yourself every day. Learn to love yourself and then others.

Curing Yourself

You fight and cure your diagnosis by changing your mindset.

At a young age, some people begin to experience depression. The way you cope and deal with that is through your behaviors at such a young age (ex. acting out, crying, cutting, drinking, drugs, sex, etc.). Unfortunately, most of us are never taught how to deal with the emotions we are experiencing. 

In today's world, we are taught to take a pill for whatever we are experiencing. No meds will ever fully cure you. Medication, when properly prescribed, can be way to help clear the “fog” you may feel inside your mind (sometimes it can make the fog worse, but I’m not here to tell anyone what they should do or not do - everyone’s mind & body is different - unfortunately you have to figure things out for yourself to see what works best). As for myself, I like to view my mindset as the key to dealing whatever it is that I'm facing.

Because most people never learn how to properly deal with what they're experiencing (usually depression is caused by a personal issue/repeating experience - being made fun of for being short your whole life, or overweight, etc.) their minds are trained to react in a certain manner. For some people, triggers are formed. 

I believe communication & therapy extremely helps because it allows someone to help change your mindset as you learn how to cope and live a better / happier life. We can't be afraid to talk about what we are experiencing and dealing with. We are all humans, all imperfect, and I believe we all encounter a lot of the same things on different levels. Being aware of what's going on (receiving a diagnosis) is the first step to take in getting better. Being stable enough to communicate without having an episode during these tough periods, is extremely difficult. This is why doctors first result to meds because they think this is something they can physically change when it’s usually not. You’ve been in a certain environment your whole life or dealt with things YOUR way for so long, your mind is trained to deal with issues the only way it’s learned how to. It usually takes having a person to become medicated in order to become stable and then once they’re stable, they have to re-learn how to properly process information and live life and then begin to eventually sort things out with a therapist. Depending on what you believe or the mindset you’re in, changes everything.

My faith has been the number one thing that has helped me through all of this. Along with music, it's something I ran from for so long...you are NEVER alone in this life. 

Due to the chemical imbalance that is caused by depression, your sober state of mind is in a constant brain fog. In return, this allows you to not be able to figure out how to change your mindset and think differently. Your faith and the mindset you're in can allow you to clear the fog and make the connections that are needing to be made so you can figure things out for yourself if you know the keys/steps to take (are stable / in a good state of mind / are finding yourself in a good place). Your mentality is your reality - find what you love and make it your passion. You have to find what makes you happy and pursue it with everything inside of you. Stay in a constant mindset of all of this. Reset and repeat and solve issues at the root, always. 

Medication is used too much in our world to numb the pain or make whatever we are feeling that we don't like, go away or hide. We are human - learning how to deal with what you're feeling is what makes you truly alive. We can't be afraid of our emotions. You have to face things head on, solving the issues at their roots.  

I love you.