I’ve actually had this song written and recorded for about 1 ½ years now (Nov 2016). The song I wrote was brought to life with the help of Lane Johnson, Anderson Duncan, and Mike Gardella. I would say the song probably has a different meaning to all of us, but was written with the intent to raise awareness towards PTSD (lyrically specifically Veterans - due to a small group of them making a HUGE impact upon my life) and Suicide (lost some friends to it). Since writing the song, both of these things I’ve encountered and dealt with. With that being said, I’ve learned environment is everything (physically and mentally). When you can’t physically change your surroundings or environment you have to be prepared mentally.
I encountered times when I couldn’t stand where I thought my life was heading or what was currently happening or going on in it...and the thoughts I let creep in and entertain, were terrible. My mind was weak. I was afraid of living and didn’t want to be here anymore. I forgot life isn’t always easy. Things don’t always go your way. You don’t always get what you want. And ultimately, you aren’t in control - you have to learn to let go and let life take its toll sometimes. You’re going to go through low points, and high points, and experience everything in between. That’s what makes us human. I feel like so many of us are afraid of feeling something real. The best way to get over your fears is to sometimes face them head on - not burying those thoughts and issues back inside your mind somewhere. I got to a point where I finally started loving myself again. As much as we aren’t in control, we are in control of our environment to a certain extent. We control who we hang out with, where we work (sometimes), where we put our energy and what we focus our minds on…
Half the time the anxiety we feel and create for ourselves are on ideas that haven’t even happened yet. Realities that don’t even exist. Your mind is extremely powerful - keep it in the right environments and feed it love and what nourishes it, and you’ll experience growth/change/peace - whatever it is that your mind seeks.
A lot that I’m writing has been said or heard before - you just actually have to apply it and make the changes in your own life and realize you have the strength to fight.
For some time now, I’ve ran from the things in life that made me happiest. I’ve caught myself in so much self-doubt that I stopped creating music. I’ve been so caught up on what hasn’t happened in my life and what certain people have done and said to me that drove me from my faith that I stopped pursuing anything at all.
I couldn’t conquer and get through the things I have without a new mindset and without my personal relationship with God. As I’ve said before, I ran from music and also my faith. I’ve been holding onto things that I could not control, and ultimately had to surrender that control.
You have to continue to fight. You have to continue to live. Life may not always be easy, but there is so much you can do with it. Remember the sun and flowers you see after the rain has come and gone. What you’re going through at this very moment, will pass. How you feel about where you are, will improve (with the right attitude and mindset). Embrace your fears and find out what’s holding you back. When you find it, kill it! Once you’ve done that, die to yourself, lose your ego, and love the people that surround you. We can’t be afraid of living when there’s so much left to live.
Lyrics:
Good, brave men die every year
Trained to save, no signs of fear
Living to fight, giving up their lives
For what it seems, our freedom to whine
About our lives, and how we try, not to die inside
To make it through, day to day, living for the pay
Is this it, the American dream? Laid in a grave, rowing gently down the stream?
So please don't go and row, row your boat-
Gently down the stream, not waking up from this dream...
Listen up now, listen to me...
Please don't go
I will show
You
How to go on from here
Please don't go
I will show
You
How we fight on (from here)
We fight on, and on, and on
Livin' on, and on, and on
Fighting and on, and on, and on
Please don't go
I will show
You...
Don't give up now...don't give in
There's no need to fear, no greater sin
We'll walk as one, while , learning how to run,
Reliving memories, of how freedom isn't free
So please don't go and row, row your boat-
Gently down the stream, not waking up from this dream...
Listen up now, listen to me…
Please don't go
I will show
You
How to go on from here
Please don't go
I will show
You
How we fight on (from here)
We fight on, and on, and on
Livin' on, and on, and on
Fighting and on, and on, and on
Please don't go
I will show
You...
Why would you leave me?
Why would you leave me, now?
Your cold and so hopeless.
Why are you holding on,
To something worth folding?
Why would you leave me, now?
Your cold and so worthless.
Why are you holding on,
To something worth folding?
Why would you leave me, now?